Rollo

That's it, I've finally given in and got a new computer for work. 

The computer's name is Rollo.

I felt I should possibly offer some form of explanation of our computer naming practices on here at some point, given there have already been a few unexplained references to Arnulf which, upon rereading, could be mistaken for a cat. We can't have people thinking I would condone the presence of a cat in the house. (Apologies to any cat-lovers who may be reading, but I cannot STAND the things and they make me want to tear my eyes out. Just so you know).

It all started with Aethelred. Aethelred was my first computer. The first time I switched it on, it asked me to give it a name. Windows suggested something like "main computer" or "study". How many other computers out there must be called "main computer"? I wanted my computer to be the only one with that name when they called the register at compuer-school, to give it a proper sense of identity. Having a list of kings and queens of England attached to my bedroom wall (as you do), I picked one from there, and so Aethelred was baptised. Not with water, you understand. Noooo.

And lo, the time came for Aethelred to be deposed, as lo, I was moving to France, and lo, he was too heavy, and lo, the family computer had a nervous breakdown and needed replacing. So Aethelred, he did go and become the family computer, and it was good. (Please note, lo is not "lol" with an l missing. Non.)

As everybody knows (erm...everybody? Hello? Back me up here!) Aethelred was deposed by Cnut, AKA Canute. The naming of the new computer was therefore easy. Cnut kept some of Aethelred's accessories, just as the historical Cnut kept Aethelred's wife, Emma. Jawöhl.

Cnut gave up on me last year, some way into fighting the Normans, NOT like the real Cnut, but sort of like Harold, who came a bit later, so it still almost works. Cnut was replaced by Arnulf de Montgommery, a tiny netbook which needed a big name to make up for its diminutive stature. Arnulf de Montgommery was one of the Normans Cnut and I had been attempting to transform into a Masters' thesis. He wasn't a bad sort of Norman, but he doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry, so I thought he needed some sort of recognition.

Rollo is a proper desktop and marks the start of a new phase in life, one that involves ACTUALLY WORKING and GETTING PAID (and possibly getting married as well, maybe). Sort of like the moment when the French gave Normandy to the Vikings to stop them pillaging and the Duchy of Normandy was created. (Wait...what?) 

The first Duke of Normandy was called Rollo, anyway, or Rollon in French, but as my computer is not a deodorant we've gone for the English spelling.

Internets, meet Rollo. Rollo, meet internets.

-Here endeth the history lesson-.