Menus

Little by little, the wedding planning steals my sanity (what little of it remains). The venue hunt is still ongoing. One thing I'm really enjoying, though, is getting sample menus from caterers, especially ones we can't afford- it would appear that the more expensive the food, the more ridiculous the names they give it.

My favourite example from a French caterer:

Hérisson de magret de canard fourré au pruneau: prune-stuffed hedgehog of duck breast

There are a couple of good bread ones, too- it can come as a trilogie (yes, that really is trilogy in English) or a farandole, which presumably means the bread is enchanted and dances for you before you eat it.

The worst culprits on the stupid name front, however, are English. The hedgehog thing is pretty daft, admittedly, but you can see where they're coming from. I sent an enquiry to a hotel near home just to see what kind of things they had on offer, and it was worth the effort for the pure comedy value of the menu they sent me. They seem to have a problem with the word "with", you see. Instead, we have:

• Presented Upon
• Accompanied By
• Set in (as in "Medallion of Seabass set in a Warm Vinaigrette")
• Complemented by (cue mental image of a blackberry coulis making pleasant comments to a mango cheescake- "my, my, you look fruity!" and the like)

And my absolute all-time favourite:

• "Pork Presented on a Plinth of Roast Apples".

A PLINTH?

Really, hotel people? A PLINTH?