1. It's too hot here
2. They don't have the Tory Party in Sweden. Well, they better not...
3. I can be as pale as I like and still look tanned
4. In my dreams, it would sort of be like living in Ikea, in a very good way
5. We could open a very English tea shop with polka dot teapots and it would be exotic
6. Sweden is not south of anywhere. Well, nowhere habitable, at least.
7. Big houses at £42,000. You couldn't get a one-bedroom bungalow next to Sellafield nuclear power plant for that
8. Father Christmas! I imagine he's a very good next-door neighbour (what do you mean, he lives in Finland? I'm sure he lives in Sweden really!)
9. The fact my mother knows the words to Abba's "Honey Honey" in Swedish (seriously, I am Not Kidding, the £2.99 CD bin in Tesco has a lot to answer for) might actually come in useful
9 1/2. I could wear really big jumpers all year round, not just 7 months of it
9 5/8. Daylight in winter is overrated, anyway
10. It's TOO HOT HERE. Or have I already said that?
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