Shopper Profile no. 1

Locust with Backpack (n). Teenager from EFL (English as a Foreign Language) school in the Cambridge area. The LWB is easy to identify and travels mostly in swarms with others with the same coloured backpack. 

Key Traits: Talks very loudly. Often, five or more will cluster around one individual who may or may not buy a £7.50 tshirt. Takes great pleasure in pulling stock off shelves and leaving it in wrong place. Extreme cases may actually throw goods on floor whilst looking sales staff in eye. Rarely says "please" or "thank you", although one might think that, with all the money their parents pay for them to spend several weeks learning English, they would be aware of such rudimentary phrases.

NMP Reaction: Shock, desire to "write to their parents and tell them what their children have been doing" and/or refusal to help until they say "please". Example:

LWB: I need this in blue.

NMP: (pause...) You need, or you would like?

LWB: ermmmm.... I would like, please.

NMP: (smiles) Of course, I'll go and get you one from upstairs.

Not to be confused with: the LGB (Little Green Backpack). See next entry.